I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize