do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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