I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I currently don't understand fingers.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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