I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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