Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize