Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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