Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
