i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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