Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
