i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
