Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
