I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Someone shattered a urinal.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
