I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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