I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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