Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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