My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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