I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
