I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
