I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
