This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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