On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
