Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
