I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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