So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
