I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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