Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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