Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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