the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize