My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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