PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
