Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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