considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
