Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
