So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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