no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
