My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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