Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
