He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
