It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
