she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
