i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
