How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Drake has all the answers
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
