A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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