Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize