My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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