By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I want to fling myself into the sun
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
These tits shall not be calmed
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
