Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
