The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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