well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
