I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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