Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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