Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
