It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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