didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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