sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
