I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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