i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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