If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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