It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
