Already got asked if we're dating
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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