I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
