My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
