Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
