Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i barfeds in our rink
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize