It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
