I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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