Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
