You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Randomize