Define "chronic" masturbator.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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