Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
