the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
